Dangerous Job

My husband Jim has never had what I would characterize as dangerous jobs. Well, actually no one would. He was a retail manager at a store that sells consumer electronics. Dangerous? No. Nerdy? Perhaps. I do know that as store manager Jim took his responsibility for the store very seriously. He also took shoplifting very seriously. The store was set up with the latest shoplifter catching technology. Cameras, mirrors and a team of people who did nothing but track shoplifters. Jim’s job was to supervise. He was to manage. He was to delegate. This however was not what Jim wanted to do. If he spotted a shoplifter, he sprang into action. I hated this. What are you going to do if they have a gun? They’re going to hurt you one day. Jim one time broke up the largest shoplifting ring on the East coast. That’s my man. But every day I asked him not to get involved. Every day he said he wouldn’t. Every day he told me about how many shoplifters he caught. One day he came in the door, and the knee of his pants were ripped. And I saw blood. In fact, his hand his elbow and his knee were bleeding. What happened? Shoplifter. He said the shoplifter was spotted in the store and as he started leaving Jim confronted him. The guy pushed past Jim and headed for the parking lot. Jim followed him. The guy starts running and Jim is on him. Literally. Jim dove and grabbed the guy by the knees and they both went down on the sidewalk. About that time, the security guards came out and took over. I am freaking out. I, asking all the usual questions, what was he stealing, did he have any weapons, what did he look like, had you ever seen him before, did the police come. Jim started answering. He was stealing a CD…no weapons..he looked kind of like Pop Pop…I didn’t know him…the police…What? What did you just say Jim? The police came and…. No, not that , before that. No weapons? No, before that. He looked like Pop Pop… Yeah, that. He looked like Pop Pop? Your Pop Pop? Your 87 year old grandfather? Please tell me you knew a biker in college named Pop Pop. No, I mean my Pop Pop, but a little younger. Younger as in 85? Or younger as in 25? I don’t know maybe 75. Years old? You tackled a 75 year old man? He was STEALING! and he was fast. Yeah, he probably just got a new hip. Do you know what consumer theft does to the economy? I pretty much stopped listening. I was trying to picture my husband, the father of my children tackling a 75 year old man. So time went on and Jim was moved to another store. One night he came home and again his pants are ripped and he is bleeding. To top it all off he was covered in mud. As soon as I saw him I couldn’t believe it. Please tell me it isn’t the day the senior center drops off the granny’s to shop. Did you nab a granny stealing a Sinatra CD? He was not amused. You don’t respect my profession…. Do you know what consumer theft does to the economy? Yeah, yeah got it, the thieves are destroying all that’s good in America, taking the food out of our children’s mouths…what happened? Well, it was lunchtime and I was going out the door. It was raining really hard. So I spot it at the top of the hill. I’m thinking if I run really fast I can get there. So I start off across the parking lot. I’m picking up speed as I make my way up the hill. I was almost there when…what? What happened when you got to top? Was there more than one? Did they have weapons? Jim stops and looks at me..did who have weapons? The THIEVES! The one destroying America’s livelihood….Jim says again…what thieves? The ones at the top of the hill!! There weren’t any thieves. No thieves? Than what was at the top of the hill? What were you running for? I was running because it was raining….and at the top of the hill was………….McDonald’s, it was lunchtime, didn’t I say that? I slid down the hill in the mud. I walked away. I could still hear him saying ….I ripped my pants, and my elbow is bleeding..hon?... sweety? ….dinner?..come back….Jim is no longer a retail manager. He’s a church administrator. All in all it seems like a much less dangerous job. He doesn’t tackle the elderly, and he hasn’t had to call the police. He doesn’t even come home bleeding ….. that often.