Jim's Mom

As I have already shared the adventure it has been to know Jim’s dad (and his mother found it rather funny) I thought I would share a couple of stories about her. One of the earliest incidences happened on our first trip to Disney World. We went to Florida to visit Jim’s brother, his wife and baby. Allison was also a baby. We drove to Florida in our mini-van. Me, Jim, his mom and Allison. So we get to Florida and we were having a great time. When it came time to go out we didn’t really want to go everywhere in separate cars. We were only there a week and we wanted to spend as much time together as possible. Lets see, 2 men, 2 carseats, and 3 women. 7. The average mini-van holds 7. 7 average people. The men took turns driving so they were always up front. It was easier to put the carseats in the middle seat, so that left the back seat to the women. All 3 of us. Did I mention we may or may not have been a little “big boned” at the time. We just had babies…...geez. In fact I’m still carrying around a little baby weight. Yes, I know he’s nine…years old, not really the point of the story. You ever measure up a piece of furniture in the store and think, yeah, sure, heck yeah ..it’ll fit. Room to spare. Well apparently this is what we were thinking. We weren’t thinking about the number of times we got the furniture home……. and had to cut the legs off…….. to get it in the door. We started to pile into the back seat and it was a little snug. Ok, to be honest a lot snug. If we would have had a roll-over accident, they would have had to shuck us out of the van like an oyster. The best part is none of us admitted it right away. I’m not sure if it was the thought of having to rebuckle the car seats or pride. It wasn’t until we got to our destination and the 3 of us couldn’t feel anything from the waist down, not to mention the mega-wedgies we were sporting. We rode this way for a week. I guess we figured the sweating or the friction would whittle us down a little. Yeah, no. The funniest part was when we went to Disney World. Every ride we got in line for they would jam us 3 into the same car. We would say “no, we don’t have to go together.” The operators practically pushed us on together. I think one actually used a shoehorn. I have heard this story for years, and it still cracks me up. She was pregnant with Jim. She was 8 months pregnant, walking at the ridge of a hill with Jim’s dad. He turns around and she’s gone. Where are you? Down here! Down where? Down the hill!! The best part is his reply…..what are you doing down there? I don’t know at eight months pregnant it just seemed like a good idea to roll down a hill, and lay here stuck on my back like a flipped over turtle. Yeah, take your time, it’s all good. Another funny story also happened in Florida. We were sharing Jim’s parents’ timeshare with them. They had a bedroom, we had a bedroom. When leaving the living room, you had to pass our room to get to his parent’s. Oh, and there’s was one step. One carpeted step separating the living room from the dining room. So the first night Jim and I go in to go to bed, we put on the TV, get in bed. We heard something. Not really a noise. Just like a ….foop! What was that? I don’t know, look out the door. So Jim looks out, and right in front of our door was his mother. On her hands and knees. What are you doing? Did you fall? Ummmm…..no, I was just…….. straightening up our shoes…. And she proceeded to pair up our shoes against the wall. Ok than, all straight. Good night. She got up and went to bed. Straightening our shoes? Ok. Next night. Foop. Jim opens the door, there she is. No shoes to straighten. Did you fall? I just tripped, I’m fine, good night. Next night, foop. Seriously….every night. And day. She tripped over that step every time she passed it. Jim would say, are you Ok, do you want to switch rooms? What’s in that bottle? Can you touch your nose with your index finger for me one more time? She just had her knees replaced this summer. We swear it’s from the lack of circulation riding around in that van, and falling 20 times a day, for a week, over that step. One funny thing she did happened before my time. She went to the hospital to visit her father in law. There were several other family members at the hospital. She and her brother in law decided to go in the room together. Apparently any room would do. They went in the room and they see an elderly man hooked up to a lot of machines. They start the usual. He looks peaceful. He’s probably not in any pain. He has lost a lot of weight. Hmmmm, never noticed that mole before…..when did he grow back his hair?......wait a minute……that’s not him. They had been standing at a complete strangers bedside. They snuck out of the room. They eventually found the right one. The other man? He made a full recovery. They’re very close now. So there you have a glimpse as to what has gone into making my husband the man he is today. And if you’re wondering, yes, I completely blame them.