Entertainment Center

About nine years ago Jim had some minor surgery. Really the only restriction was not to do too much and don't lift heavy objects for awhile. About a week after the surgery I decided that the entertainment center in our living room had to go. Right then. Or sooner would be fine. Yesterday would be lovely. Did you ever have that happen? You love the furniture when you buy it. Well, buy it may not exactly be the correct term. We got it for free. No, not a gift. Just free. No, we didn't steal it. Well, not really...... no, definitely not stolen. We actually saved some poor unsuspecting trashman (or is it sanitation engineer?) alot of hard work. And we we're doing our part by recycling. Alright, geez, we took it out of someone's trash, Well, not really "out" of their trash. It wouldn't fit "in" their trash. It was "next" to the trash. Beckoning us really. Stop looking at me like that. It was a perfectly fine piece of furniture. For awhile. Than the day came when I walked past it and said, its gotta go. Now. So I start working on Jim. Actually working on Jim was second. I tried to move it myself first. Yeah, not gonna happen. So I take everything off of it. This is supposed to tell him that I no longer love it. Please move it. For some reason this did not spark Jim's interest in moving incredibly heavy furniture. So, I start dropping hints. Hey, why don't we move this to the basement....and get a smaller one. I got nothing. Hey, I saw a smaller center at my sister's house, what do you think? Nothing. Hey Jim, what do you say we move this to the BASEMENT.....and get a NEW one!!! Today. Like RIGHT NOW. Honey. Sweetums. Pookie...Bear? I just had surgery. Okay, now we're getting somewhere. We have opened the discussion. Well, yes, I remember the surgery....it was like what? 3 weeks ago? 6 days. Oh, well how long until you can lift? Like. 2 weeks. You're more than halfway there. Uh, no that would be 7 days. Well....with your 6 days and me helping you....it would be like 2 weeks. Right? I'm not moving it. OK so this is what I'm thinking. We don't have to "lift" it as much as "push" it, and I'll do the majority of the labor. Really Jim, you're basically supervising. No. Not today. I'm not hefting that thing down 2 flights of stairs. Think. Think. I have a great idea! Now hear me out. Why don't we....lower it off the deck! Yes, this is a great idea. Let's tie ropes around it, and gently lower it off the deck. With the two of us working together, it won't be too heavy for either of us. Than we can just ease it into the basement. Well? What do ya think? Great idea huh? Now as I think back to that time I keep thinking, why did Jim agree? Is it because he loves me so much that he couldn't stand for me to be disappointed? Am I really that annoying that he did it just to shut me up? You're right, that's not it. Was Jim also suddenly unhappy with the entertainment center? Or perhaps the most likely of reasons, he was all hopped up on pain medication and mistakenly thought it was a "great idea"? Ding Ding Ding!! Ok so we tie up the ropes, we push the center onto the deck. All we have to do is lean it on the railing......... gently tip it over....... and slowly lower it to the ground. Leaning went well. Tipping went well. Until that exact second when the enormous weight of the large piece of wood shifted. Gravity. Go figure. I didn't. Just at the exact second the weight shifted....we felt it, the horrific burning feeling you get when a rope zips through the flesh on your palms, as fast as.....well, as fast as a 200 pound entertainment center goes, as it flies off a 12 foot deck and crashes to the ground. We were left standing there empty-handed. Very red, and raw empty-handed. First we looked at our hands. Than we looked at each other. Than we looked over the deck. And if I didn't know any better I would have thought was a pile of toothpicks. Completely unrecognizable. I looked at Jim, hmmm....I guess that didn't work out huh? He was still looking at the pile. Who'da thought huh? If my hands weren't bleeding, it might be kinda funny. Ha Ha hmmmm... wanna go get something to eat? Jim finally looks at me. "Ok" he says, "Is it time for my pain medicine? I think I need some." I eventually bagged the wood pieces up and put them in the trash. And as luck would have it, the bag took up way less room in the landfill. Just doing my part.