Turning 40

As I am running headlong into 40 (65 days and counting) I thought I would share a couple of moments in my life thus far that I would not describe as "shining moments" Not really the things that reflect my true intellect. Or any intellect really. Not any. Really. Things like the time in 6th grade I confidently took off my school skirt for Gym. Not a big deal. Had there not been boys there. Or had I remembered to put shorts on under my skirt. I still run into people who remember that. Yea. The time I told my boss I loved him. I didn't love him. "Like" would have even be a strong word to use. Jim and I had just gotten married and we started saying "love you" at the end of our phone conversations. I was at work and my boss called. He gives me a list of things to do. He said goodbye and I say " Ok, love ya." I hung up wondering if I really said that. I didn't have to wonder long because he called me back. "Did you just tell me you loved me?" Umm yes. Yes I did. But I don't. For some reason he was happy knowing I didn't love him. Normally that would hurt my feelings, but I really needed the job. We had a guy come and build our first deck. He was a young guy, very friendly. Once the platform was built, he could stand at the kitchen door and chit chat. We had a black lab named Elvis and this guy would pet him and play with him when he was working. One hot day I offered the guy something to drink. He chose water. So while I'm making the drink he's petting the dog and he says "does Elvis like water?" I very quickly said "Oh yea, he drinks it all the time. He likes ice in it too, it's pretty much all he drinks." You know cause he's a DOG and everything. This guys a goof, what else does he think he drinks? Oh, he has an occasional root beer but mostly the water. Geez, idiot. All this is going through my mind when I turn around and look at him. He had that look that dogs get when they hear a sharp noise. His head was cocked to one side and his face was scrunched up. " I meant does he like to swim, cause he's a lab....they like....the water." Oh. Yeah. He swims...........here's your drink.........I gotta go ...do...something. Never saw him again. Phew. This story doesn't sound funny in the beginning, but I'll get there. When Ethan was three he decided to jump in the pool, without his swimmies. I was sitting on the deck with my sister and he climbed to the top of the ladder. I was about 50 feet away. I yelled to him to get down. As I'm yelling, I'm getting up and kicking off my shoes. I know this kid, he's jumping. So my sister and I both start moving towards the deck steps. We're doing sort of a Three stooges thing. We're both trying to get through the gate at the same time. Somehow I popped out first and I'm moving. Just as I start down the steps, he jumps. I hear my sister yelling "swim eefer swim!" The other kids playing in the yard start to take notice. I'm running across the lawn. I'm thinking the ladder will take too much time. I'll just hurdle over the side. Yea, now I'm thinking. I actually pictured myself like an Olympian. I would put my right hand on the side and just flip the rest of my body over. I would land on my feet and scoop up my baby. In my mind I didn't even get my hair wet. Not quite how it happened. Now with my sister yelling, I have a full audiance. I get to the pool and start to hurdle the 4ft side. Nothing. Not even a budge. I'm not flying over the side. I looked like one of those soldiers trying to climb a 15 ft blockade wall. I'm pulling and climbing and I'm getting nowhere. In my desperation, I decided to lean over and stick my head in the water and sort of let the momentum of my body weight fling me over the side. I landed on my back. Completely under water. If Ethan was still above water, this wave was taking him down. I popped up to discover..... that he could swim. He was sitting on the ladder looking at me. My sister said that just about the time I was flipping over the side, he turned around and swam to the ladder. My kids and their cousins reenacted my "rescue." Over and over. In fact they just did it for me again. Five years later. Nice kids.